Communication Skills, Time Management
From Capt. Surender Malhan.With respect, I humbly request, please read, this is very important! We can use and apply this in every walk of life - family, friends, business and in battle. Here is version 2.0 of an email I wrote to a friend recently before she was going on an important interview. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Kristine,
We are engaged in a noble and important struggle. We have to constantly strive for perfection - for efficiency and effectiveness in our communication - written and verbal.
Our most important and most scarce resource is Time and Money. We have to use both very efficiently and effectively.
We must constantly keep on striving to improve ourselves just as Olympic Athletes and everyone who wants to excel and deliver results - do.
For an interview and for every important conversation - Here are something's I would visualize, prepare,...
1. Depending on subject matter of interview - Top 5 to 10 points in order of importance, priority.
2. Visualize, mentally rehearse the following:-
(a) Listen carefully to each question being asked or every topic being discussed. Always stay on message. Always keep in mind the topic, subject, context of the discussion. Note down points. Always have a notebook and pen or clipboard and pen - helps focus, helps us think and has a positive impact. If you have your laptop/pc, use it to note down points.
(b) Always, pause for 2 seconds before beginning answering, this way we know that we have not interrupted the interviewer, and we come across calm, confident and composed.
(c) Think, Analyze before you speak.
(d) If you speak too much or too fast - you have very little time to listen, think, learn.
(e) When possible, record your conversations and review, study, learn.
(f) Answer the question to the point in 3 step format (I train my software engineer employees to use this)
Step-1: Most important point related to the question asked.
Step-2: Elaborate, Explain in just 2 to 4 sentences.
Step-3: Give examples from another person's case and then from my own case. Or vice versa depending on situation/question.
(g) Think of questions and answers (several points in our answer) as dots - they should align in a straight line - i.e. be on topic, on message, relevant to the question asked. The dots in our conversation should not begin to look like a spider's web.
(h) Time is very, very precious. Never ever repeat a point again and again. Depending on duration of conversation and number of topics, at end of every topic you can summarize the main points, just as we do when teaching a class in school.
(i) Speak at the right speed / pace - not to fast, not too slow. Else we lose rapport. Speak at the right voice volume, right tone, pitch. Make good judgement on where to emphasize, where / when to raise or lower your voice.
(j) When conversations, debates are getting heated, out of hand - always begin - lowering your voice volume and talking speed and listen more. Just staying silent for 10 seconds helps lower the temperature. Or temporarily change topic, shift gears, use sense of humor, give a compliment.
(k) Listen more. As much as you can spend more time, asking the right questions and listening.
(l) Ask questions in the Socratic manner. Ask thinker questions, open ended questions - like Larry King, Bob Woodward, etc.
(m) Be cheerful. Stay Calm. Be Dignified.
(n) We convey that we have "Power", moral power, through what we say, how we say, our voice volume, tone, pitch, body posture, body language. Do not make unnecessary body movements. Use good gestures. In the final analysis Moral Power has to be backed up fully by, and can only come from, -- our character, actions and results we produce.
(o) At times few seconds of silence is ok. If there is no need, dont feel compelled to break the silence. Let the other person break the silence.
(p) Always bring positive energy into the room.
(q) After every conversation / interview - think, analyze, what did I do right, what could I have done better, how else convey the same point, anything I missed out, etc.
3. Last weekend again I viewed studied -- Dr. Kings interviews, speeches. Listened, analyzed - how he spoke, his interviewing/answering style.
4. Periodically I study, view, analyze, learn from people in all walks of life, especially science and humanity - Carl Sagan, Michio Kaku (physicist), Neil DeGrasse Tyson (physicist), MK Gandhi, Dr. King, Mother Theresa, Nobel Peace Prize Winners - their Nobel peace prize winning speeches, etc. We can even observe, analyze daily TV news reporters / news anchors - how they speak, their body language, etc.
5. Establish Rapport - using body language, body posture and speaking style - tone of language, volume and speed.
6. Always have our feet grounded. Have an attitude of service "I am here to serve, I am here to help". Always be humble. Humility is a very important virtue. MK Gandhi, Dr. King, Mother Theresa, Nobel Peace Prize Winners - they are excellent role models in Humility and everything.
7. What can make meetings, conversations, interviews - more efficient and effective -
(a) provide everyone with meeting points, what we plan to discuss, points to discuss, etc.
(b) tell the other person about your background, experience, education (like summary of your resume/CV in 4 to 6 lines) and know the same about the other person.
8. Always stay calm. We are most efficient, our brain works best and most efficiently, when we are calm, relaxed. Some of the most powerful ways to stay calm are - Control your thoughts, control your body muscles, control your breathing.
(a) Keep your mind focussed on positive thoughts.
(b) Every muscle in your body especially facial muscles, especially muscles on forehead, eyebrows - should be calm, relaxed. Be conscious of any tension in any facial muscle or any where else in our body.
(c) When our forehead and eye brow muscles are tensed, we tire very quickly - it drains out the energy from our nervous system and brain, plus we comes across looking stressed.
(d) Control, regulate your breathing. Focus your thoughts on your breathing - this is one of the easiest and powerful ways to and of Meditating. Breathing in slowly to the count of 4, hold to the count of 4 and then breath out slowly to the count of four. This helps calm down the brain.
(e) Our Brain has Brain Waves. EEG has usually been described in terms of frequency bands: GAMMA greater than 30(Hz) BETA (13-30Hz), ALPHA (8-12 Hz), THETA (4-8 Hz), and DELTA(less than 4 Hz). Google and read up on this.
(f) Gamma state is when we are very active. Beta state is when we are alert, awake. Alpha State - A calm and relaxed person is in Alpha State. When we fall asleep we are in Theta State. When we are experiencing deep sleep we are in Delta State.
(g) The goal should be - to stay in Alpha State. Our Brain is most efficient and effective when we are in Alpha State. I call it Alpha Power - Power of the Mind at Alpha. Meditation helps the mind get into Alpha state. Slow deep breathing, focussing the mind, focusing our thoughts on our breath - is the most powerful way to get our mind into Alpha State.
9. When we have conversations, come to the point right away, stay on point, stay on message, always focus on how we can save each other our time, how we can get more done in less time. After the conversation we may email summary of meeting points, important points, and points we may have missed out.
10. When Joe calls Tom, both should keep each other's state of mind, data processing speeds, etc. Joe should keep in mind that he could be sitting in a Jacuzzi on a vacation while Tom's house at that moment could be on a raging fire. 11. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey:Habit 1: Be Proactive. Focus and act on what they can control and influence, instead of what you can't. Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind.Habit 3: Put First Things First.Habit 4: Think Win-Win.Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.Habit 6: Synergize.Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw.
12. We have breakfast, lunch, dinner every day, same way we need to feed the mind every day. Think of brain building and exercising your brain like a workout in a Gym. We lose what we don’t use. Our brain muscles decline when we don’t engage them, challenge them. We need to exercise several brain muscles - for logical thinking, analytical ability, creativity, creative problem solving, memory, emotional intelligence, etc. Very few of us have professions that continue to challenge and exercise all our mental muscles.
13. In our conversations, let us seek to understand. Try not be disagreeable, argumentative, confrontational, "it is my way or the highway". A wise person asks oneself, "have I correctly figured out why the apple is falling?" A wise person keeps in mind the intellect and integrity of the other person and compares notes with an open mind. A wise person understands that "knowledge" is one thing, but how to apply that in daily life - is a totally different ball game and that is where the vast majority need help. A wise person tries to benefit from the knowledge and wisdom of other people on the team. A wise person encourages everyone on the team to contribute ideas and then "the best idea, best solution is the boss!" After that for success discipline is mandatory for everyone to support and put into action the solution.
14. The goal of very conversation, interview should be: It is possible to make interviews, conversations a relaxing and enjoyable experience and have everyone leave more calm, relaxed, recharged with positive energy and happy.
15. Let us pledge to be Ethical, Moral, Just and Fair. Let us Pledge, we will not lie, cheat, steal, manipulate - nor tolerate those who do. Let us Pledge, to keep our moral compass correctly calibrated at all times.
Enjoy Your Day.Capt. Surender Malhan.SpaceAge Letter to President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, Attorney General Merrick Garlandhttp://www.MeTooChildrensRights.org/lettertopresidentjoebiden A 90+, Retired Naval Officer, COVID Positive Grand Father's Appeal to President Joe Biden Time Management. Communication Skills. Effective Communication - on Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/surender.malhan.33https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/Capt-Surender-Malhanhttps://www.facebook.com/SpaceAge1https://www.facebook.com/CaptSurenderMalhan.ReadingForSelfDevelopmenthttps://www.facebook.com/CaptSurenderMalhanSocialResponsibilitiesHumanBeing www.SpaceAgeGroup.com -- follow the link on left to Life On Earth.
We are engaged in a noble and important struggle. We have to constantly strive for perfection - for efficiency and effectiveness in our communication - written and verbal.
Our most important and most scarce resource is Time and Money. We have to use both very efficiently and effectively.
We must constantly keep on striving to improve ourselves just as Olympic Athletes and everyone who wants to excel and deliver results - do.
For an interview and for every important conversation - Here are something's I would visualize, prepare,...
1. Depending on subject matter of interview - Top 5 to 10 points in order of importance, priority.
2. Visualize, mentally rehearse the following:-
(a) Listen carefully to each question being asked or every topic being discussed. Always stay on message. Always keep in mind the topic, subject, context of the discussion. Note down points. Always have a notebook and pen or clipboard and pen - helps focus, helps us think and has a positive impact. If you have your laptop/pc, use it to note down points.
(b) Always, pause for 2 seconds before beginning answering, this way we know that we have not interrupted the interviewer, and we come across calm, confident and composed.
(c) Think, Analyze before you speak.
(d) If you speak too much or too fast - you have very little time to listen, think, learn.
(e) When possible, record your conversations and review, study, learn.
(f) Answer the question to the point in 3 step format (I train my software engineer employees to use this)
Step-1: Most important point related to the question asked.
Step-2: Elaborate, Explain in just 2 to 4 sentences.
Step-3: Give examples from another person's case and then from my own case. Or vice versa depending on situation/question.
(g) Think of questions and answers (several points in our answer) as dots - they should align in a straight line - i.e. be on topic, on message, relevant to the question asked. The dots in our conversation should not begin to look like a spider's web.
(h) Time is very, very precious. Never ever repeat a point again and again. Depending on duration of conversation and number of topics, at end of every topic you can summarize the main points, just as we do when teaching a class in school.
(i) Speak at the right speed / pace - not to fast, not too slow. Else we lose rapport. Speak at the right voice volume, right tone, pitch. Make good judgement on where to emphasize, where / when to raise or lower your voice.
(j) When conversations, debates are getting heated, out of hand - always begin - lowering your voice volume and talking speed and listen more. Just staying silent for 10 seconds helps lower the temperature. Or temporarily change topic, shift gears, use sense of humor, give a compliment.
(k) Listen more. As much as you can spend more time, asking the right questions and listening.
(l) Ask questions in the Socratic manner. Ask thinker questions, open ended questions - like Larry King, Bob Woodward, etc.
(m) Be cheerful. Stay Calm. Be Dignified.
(n) We convey that we have "Power", moral power, through what we say, how we say, our voice volume, tone, pitch, body posture, body language. Do not make unnecessary body movements. Use good gestures. In the final analysis Moral Power has to be backed up fully by, and can only come from, -- our character, actions and results we produce.
(o) At times few seconds of silence is ok. If there is no need, dont feel compelled to break the silence. Let the other person break the silence.
(p) Always bring positive energy into the room.
(q) After every conversation / interview - think, analyze, what did I do right, what could I have done better, how else convey the same point, anything I missed out, etc.
3. Last weekend again I viewed studied -- Dr. Kings interviews, speeches. Listened, analyzed - how he spoke, his interviewing/answering style.
4. Periodically I study, view, analyze, learn from people in all walks of life, especially science and humanity - Carl Sagan, Michio Kaku (physicist), Neil DeGrasse Tyson (physicist), MK Gandhi, Dr. King, Mother Theresa, Nobel Peace Prize Winners - their Nobel peace prize winning speeches, etc. We can even observe, analyze daily TV news reporters / news anchors - how they speak, their body language, etc.
5. Establish Rapport - using body language, body posture and speaking style - tone of language, volume and speed.
6. Always have our feet grounded. Have an attitude of service "I am here to serve, I am here to help". Always be humble. Humility is a very important virtue. MK Gandhi, Dr. King, Mother Theresa, Nobel Peace Prize Winners - they are excellent role models in Humility and everything.
7. What can make meetings, conversations, interviews - more efficient and effective -
(a) provide everyone with meeting points, what we plan to discuss, points to discuss, etc.
(b) tell the other person about your background, experience, education (like summary of your resume/CV in 4 to 6 lines) and know the same about the other person.
8. Always stay calm. We are most efficient, our brain works best and most efficiently, when we are calm, relaxed. Some of the most powerful ways to stay calm are - Control your thoughts, control your body muscles, control your breathing.
(a) Keep your mind focussed on positive thoughts.
(b) Every muscle in your body especially facial muscles, especially muscles on forehead, eyebrows - should be calm, relaxed. Be conscious of any tension in any facial muscle or any where else in our body.
(c) When our forehead and eye brow muscles are tensed, we tire very quickly - it drains out the energy from our nervous system and brain, plus we comes across looking stressed.
(d) Control, regulate your breathing. Focus your thoughts on your breathing - this is one of the easiest and powerful ways to and of Meditating. Breathing in slowly to the count of 4, hold to the count of 4 and then breath out slowly to the count of four. This helps calm down the brain.
(e) Our Brain has Brain Waves. EEG has usually been described in terms of frequency bands: GAMMA greater than 30(Hz) BETA (13-30Hz), ALPHA (8-12 Hz), THETA (4-8 Hz), and DELTA(less than 4 Hz). Google and read up on this.
(f) Gamma state is when we are very active. Beta state is when we are alert, awake. Alpha State - A calm and relaxed person is in Alpha State. When we fall asleep we are in Theta State. When we are experiencing deep sleep we are in Delta State.
(g) The goal should be - to stay in Alpha State. Our Brain is most efficient and effective when we are in Alpha State. I call it Alpha Power - Power of the Mind at Alpha. Meditation helps the mind get into Alpha state. Slow deep breathing, focussing the mind, focusing our thoughts on our breath - is the most powerful way to get our mind into Alpha State.
9. When we have conversations, come to the point right away, stay on point, stay on message, always focus on how we can save each other our time, how we can get more done in less time. After the conversation we may email summary of meeting points, important points, and points we may have missed out.
10. When Joe calls Tom, both should keep each other's state of mind, data processing speeds, etc. Joe should keep in mind that he could be sitting in a Jacuzzi on a vacation while Tom's house at that moment could be on a raging fire. 11. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey:Habit 1: Be Proactive. Focus and act on what they can control and influence, instead of what you can't. Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind.Habit 3: Put First Things First.Habit 4: Think Win-Win.Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.Habit 6: Synergize.Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw.
12. We have breakfast, lunch, dinner every day, same way we need to feed the mind every day. Think of brain building and exercising your brain like a workout in a Gym. We lose what we don’t use. Our brain muscles decline when we don’t engage them, challenge them. We need to exercise several brain muscles - for logical thinking, analytical ability, creativity, creative problem solving, memory, emotional intelligence, etc. Very few of us have professions that continue to challenge and exercise all our mental muscles.
13. In our conversations, let us seek to understand. Try not be disagreeable, argumentative, confrontational, "it is my way or the highway". A wise person asks oneself, "have I correctly figured out why the apple is falling?" A wise person keeps in mind the intellect and integrity of the other person and compares notes with an open mind. A wise person understands that "knowledge" is one thing, but how to apply that in daily life - is a totally different ball game and that is where the vast majority need help. A wise person tries to benefit from the knowledge and wisdom of other people on the team. A wise person encourages everyone on the team to contribute ideas and then "the best idea, best solution is the boss!" After that for success discipline is mandatory for everyone to support and put into action the solution.
14. The goal of very conversation, interview should be: It is possible to make interviews, conversations a relaxing and enjoyable experience and have everyone leave more calm, relaxed, recharged with positive energy and happy.
15. Let us pledge to be Ethical, Moral, Just and Fair. Let us Pledge, we will not lie, cheat, steal, manipulate - nor tolerate those who do. Let us Pledge, to keep our moral compass correctly calibrated at all times.
Enjoy Your Day.Capt. Surender Malhan.SpaceAge Letter to President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, Attorney General Merrick Garlandhttp://www.MeTooChildrensRights.org/lettertopresidentjoebiden A 90+, Retired Naval Officer, COVID Positive Grand Father's Appeal to President Joe Biden Time Management. Communication Skills. Effective Communication - on Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/surender.malhan.33https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/Capt-Surender-Malhanhttps://www.facebook.com/SpaceAge1https://www.facebook.com/CaptSurenderMalhan.ReadingForSelfDevelopmenthttps://www.facebook.com/CaptSurenderMalhanSocialResponsibilitiesHumanBeing www.SpaceAgeGroup.com -- follow the link on left to Life On Earth.
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